Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Lost.

I don't know, I just felt like there's time something I want to say before I go to bed. And I don't know who to talk to. That's sad, I know. 

I don't know what should I do now, should I give up? Maybe I find forever it's the best for you. You don't have to angry at me, take care of me. I'm a mess. I know, I always can't remember important things. And say things without thinking. Ok. I'm such a childish person. I always love to disturb you, I don't know why, I just want to be naught and have fun with you. Maybe I was wrong. 
I know I'm not a good gf, maybe I don't deserve a bf like you. You deserve better. I think. 
You told me you will be happy to hear me say that. Maybe it's time to learn to accept. 
My heart was painful. 
But what to do. 
I always trying. 
Now, I even have the thought like I forcing you to forgive me. 
The difference between you and me, was, I always think positive and happy memories when I was angry, but you, always think sad moment when you angry. And throw me those ugly words. Hurtful sentences. Urghh, I don't know. What should I do now, I have no point to win you back. It's like you want something so much, but just you don't have any reason to get it. 

I was so hopeless,
"I'll gladly do so!"
This was never get out of my mind. Maybe, this was an alert to tell me, I should hold you anymore. Or maybe something more worse. I don't know, I afraid to think that. 

The moment we were talking about how to decorate my new room. 
And now, I need to think how I gonna do this  without you. Gosh, I hate this. Seriously. I hate to have this kind of thoughts. But seems like it's need to think now. 
I'm so afraid. 
I don't have the strength to think, to ask, because I was so afraid to hear the results. Although I have thought the worse thing comes to worse are what. But, I still prefer to think more positive. 

I seriously no clue what should I do now, or what's the right thing to do. Maybe we both need sometime to think. Or maybe you already speak your mind just I didn't brave enough to accept that. 

I was so lost. So so lost. 
................


Love, Keira

No comments:

Post a Comment